A delusional confession

What do you do when your life becomes meaningless

2011-04-21T15:46:00.001-07:00

What do you do when you wake up each morning almost hating yourself and your life? Do you continue going on hoping that things will get better, do you run away and try to start a new life or do you just end things. At some point people find that there lives are not where they want to be. When this occurs you might become angry and hostile. I know I have. I have this feeling on the inside, almost like anxiety. I try to explain to people how things are but no one listens. I feel lost and I don’t know what to do. I use to be somewhat happy but things have changed for the worse. My mother and I constantly disagree because I have my boyfriend basically living with me. She feels that he is using me because he does not pay anything towards the rent. I try to explain to her that it is not as if he doesn’t have a place to go. He lives with his cousin but I like for him to stay here because he lives too far to be going back and forth. Honestly, I have become a little dependable on him sometimes. I know that it is not good to be but I have. He helps pay a little of my electricity bill because I noticed the bill jumping up. So he agreed to pay that. But everyone seems so angry. My mother is angry because of finances and because she feels that I am purposely trying to be not part of the family. My boyfriend is angry because I disagree with him and I don’t want to talk about the subject anymore. I just don’t know where things are going anymore because I hate feeling this way. I am trying to just continue going on but I can surely tell you that it is not as easy as many people explain. Maybe I should just simply pretend that everything is ok but then I question what kind of life is that. I just want to be happy and beautiful. It is a selfish want, I know. But I feel that I am the only person that has me. I have to be my own best friend because what happens when they are all gone? What happens when I am by myself and no one answers their phone? We all make different life decisions and choices and change a lot in a year. If you don’t like your life you have to figure out to change something.

AG

2010-03-21T22:04:00.000-07:00

So I was on my twitter account and I saw these new tweets from this guy I know. And he's just talking about all the sex he's having and unprotected at that. What I don't understand is why you would want to have sex with someone that constantly has unprotected sex. And then you glorify your sex life by constantly giving details, showing pictures and videos. I mean at some point in your life you have to have some type of class. And when everyone sees your dick and knows what type of std's you've had how much class can you really have? Honestly, there must be something wrong mentally with you. Because the average person tends to be a little weary of having sex with more than 1 person a day and unprotected sex. Opps I mean maybe that's just a smart person. It's really inevitable that you'll get hiv and the sad thing is you'll still be fucking people and they'll still be fucking you!

Have sex and still go on dates!

2009-08-20T20:33:00.000-07:00

I know that their are a lot of people out there that believe in waiting on having sex until they are in a relationship. And I totally respect that but, now and then it is ok to have a little fun as long as you're safe. Now if you're the type of person who likes to have fun but is still looking for love I'd advice you not to tell the person you're going on dates with you're sleeping around. I personally feel that people like the idea of you being somewhat pure or untainted. And let them think that. I mean, sometimes in beginning of dating you have to play like this cookie cutter role. You don't have to. It's just a facade that some of us put up to get people to fall for us. I love how this turned from sex to dating advice. But, I personally use to be the type who would fall for someone and tell them that I like them and put my feeling on the line. But now I see that people honestly don't care. So I play the game just as they do. If I happen to call or text you and you don't reply? Well, I see that as if you're not interested. But the problem comes down to when you're both playing the games. How will either of you actually let one another know that you're interested? It's so terribly hard these days. Mmm...

Beautiful Hanging in the Buff.

2009-08-19T21:32:00.000-07:00

Who knew disney got you a body like this?

A Friendship that always Ends!

2009-08-19T21:29:00.000-07:00

It's over, I'm down... We are not friends again for a second time... but I promise you there will be no third. I'm not going to be treated like a piece of shit, I really had strong feelings for you but I guess those need to be thrown out the window. Love no more. Forget the fun we had. You were rude, ignorant, and didn't always consider of peoples feelings. You claim besties know best but you don't fucking know SHIT KISS MY ASS!!! FUCK YOU!!! Because I will spot another you... You stole from the fucking thrift store and snorted prescpition drugs... but did I tell the people you were talking to how unstable you are? NO!!! You claim to not be a freak anymore but you really are just in better clothes and a tan. You are mentally not well to be friends with anyone because you think everyone is shady. This bullshit was bound to Happen cus Nigga I deleted u the first time when I heard you was talking shit about me...I will try my best to pray for you... but it's going to be quite hard because of all those times you made me feel inadequate. Having people like you in my life make me understand what a true friend is. Learn from this shit you fucking dumb ass. Cus I will not be back, I will not try to be there for you ever again... You were No good friend to me... I was a good friend to you... I made you're life more stable even though you always tried to make it you and I. You have an addictive personality and I hope the next person you get isn't as stupid as me. I hope they can read you and know you're no good and sick and twisted. Ur the type of guy who would step on a rabbit and think it's fun. GOOD RIDDENS AND GOD BLESS.By the way, I'm keeping the cardigan... it's a gift for all the shit I put up with you

Being a dad can make you more desirable!

2009-08-19T21:16:00.001-07:00

Ricky Martin is looking hot as ever with his twin boys. As you know Ricky had a sergeant mother to carry his 2 little ones. Who knows shy he's a single dad. Or maybe he isn't. I mean, it's easiest enough for Ricky to have a lover or even a fiance that many wouldn't know about because he isn't that far in the limelight as he was in his, "Living La Vida Loca" days. But having the kids makes him that much more desirable. Because it shows that he can commit, is head strong, and independent. And what Woman or Man wouldn't want that? P.S. I hope the kiddies grew to be more attractive, cus right now! Those twins certainly didn't get their fathers genes.

OK! Exclusive my Ass!!!

2009-08-19T21:08:00.000-07:00

So recently Sherri Shepherd recently got into a bikini on the View. Well, now she's stripping down again for OK! Mnn... umm... that's a sight for sore eyes. I mean there's a lot of work that she need to get together. One of the major ones, being a breast reduction. Her breast are the first thing you see and they are just getting scarier and scarier each day. I honestly don't think she'll be able to lose much weight because her body needs to support those huge balloons. Second, we gotta tone up your arms, make them look less saggy. Then she should be good. : )

Best Outfit on You!

2009-08-19T20:25:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been invited to a party or a big event and had no clue what to wear? But then you look through your entire closet and remember that their is that dress that looks amazing on you? Well, if you're planning on doing a rerun this is what you want to watch out for.

1. Do not where the same outfit if you know people who have already seen you in it are going to be there.
2. Do not take any pictures if you can. Because if you're seen in a photo in that same dress, people will know you rerun or you'll be seen in the same dress in different photos.
3. Try to change up the accessories. Add a belt, or a scarf or different earrings. Change it up each time.

These are the 3 rules to watch out for a Rerun Outfit.

What goes on in your head???

2008-12-20T16:13:00.000-08:00

What is wrong with people these days... So you start talking to someone and you have this connection that you haven't found with someone is such a long time. You talk and just talk and talk on the phone all day... and then comes the time where you finally set the date. 1 hour before I leave my job I get off the phone with my "DATE" and go back to work from lunch. I get back into costumer service mode hoping for the my last hour to fade. 11 o'clock comes and I call, no answer. I worry is this person ok? I call again. Still no answer. What happened I wonder? I call 7 more times and drive to the place where we were going to have a bite. I don't see your car. I finally give up only to come home and sleep my pain away. I'm getting over you, but I think it was so hurtful for you to just disappear without even saying what happened. You really did hurt my feelings, but I'm ok. As the old Indians use to say, "There are no such things as Accidents."

Welcome to Eden

2008-09-06T06:48:00.000-07:00

Some of you may recognize this beautiful face as Eden or Naomi. But I know her as Annalynne Mccord, the upcoming actress with a sense of sexuality that can't be mistaken. When you look into her hazel green eyes you can see the urge of passion that she wants to posses in each and everyone of her viewers. She is Naomi on 90210 by 8 and Eden on Nip Tuck by 10. Know the face, know the name and love the beauty.

The HILLS HERE WE COME

2008-09-04T21:01:00.002-07:00

So a few of us at my school are like different characters from the Hills. Yes, I know it's crazy but it's so fun. I am LC, the main character OF COURSE. My dear friend Keanna, is Audrina who is drifting away from me because of LO who is Susan and JustinBobby aka Dashaun. Shh she doesn't know I know. That evil bitch Heidi is Shakira, Dedra is Stephanie and Chez is Whitney. We have so much FUN!!!

ANTM x11

2008-09-04T20:38:00.001-07:00

My love of ANTMx11 is running strong as usual. I of course watched (tivoed) the premier last night and it was really good. First, I can't stand that ISIS because she is just so annoying. I mean she's an ok model but I just don't like him as a person. The people that made me go GAGA are?

I love Sheena because she is just upfront with everything. She has this bold personality that just makes you want to see more. Sheena is in the making of becoming the new and improved Kimora Lee Simmons.

Joslyn is another one of my favorites. I love her voice, she just seems like a caring human being that couldn't hurt a fly. Idk, it's something about her, I'd love for her to be my best friend.

Last but not least TWITCHLES, Marjorie is a self conscious blond on legs. It's something about her that is so weird that is intriguing and not annoying. She seems to be a woman who can create true art, but I hope one day that she gains confidence.

I hope to see a lot more of these women.

Earrings

2008-09-04T19:11:00.000-07:00

As I said before I'm in jewelry class so I just wanted to show you guys my first pair of earrings. I've gotten a few compliments on them, and I think they are ok. So I'll see if you like them.

New Jewels to add in

2008-09-01T19:21:00.000-07:00

Any one that knows me, knows that I kinda love rings. Especially HUGE GAUDY ones. So a few days ago I was just looking around at different places and found just what I was looking for... actually times 2. First, the beautiful yellow canary at the top. And then the Gold number at the on the other side, OH THEY LOOK SO GREAT. I just can't wait to get them, too bad I have to wait until SEPT. 11th... Can you believe that shit?

Starting a New School Year

2008-09-01T16:55:00.000-07:00

Last week was my last first week of high school. I can finally say that I am a senior and not lie. I don't feel as happy as many of the other students because I really just want to get away from that school. If it wasn't for Brittany, Audrina, LO, Whitney, Heidi, and Spencer I'd DIE. But then again, I am able to leave the school at 11:20. So I'm only left with having African American Studies, AP English, Ceramics, AP European Studies and Jewelry. So it comes down to which classes I like best, umm it's a little too soon to spill the beans on that one. Lets just say that I have to get use to the orality of my AP Euro class, but it's slowly creeping on me. So I'm off again hopefully I'll see you all soon.

LOVE

Amanda Lepore

2008-07-10T23:27:00.000-07:00

You may wonder who this beautiful creature is... her name is Amanda Lepore... some may be savvy to the name, and so may be who the hell is this BITCH? Well, if you must no, take your ass to google and read, I'm too tired to type that's whore's bio. I just wanted you guys to have a little inspiration from her beauty.

Dominque

There's Something About Dominique

2008-06-29T23:20:00.000-07:00

I'm just gonna tell you a bit about me... I am a 6 foot goddess of love... no joke... lol... But I am a mut of many mixes with a twisted since of humor and a great attention span. I find myself daydreaming a lot with thoughts of just running out to L.A. and becoming the next Lindsay Lohan... but I don't know how much that would work out with my inexperience as an actor. I love to write... it's a passion of mine and always has been since I was a little chap wearing my YELLOW RAIN BOOTS in the summer time. I get this great feeling when I do it, it's just so amazing how you can become another person... I also love fashion... the Fashion Bible: WWD. When I go through the $10 dollar spring or fall issue of the fashion beacon I become mesmerized with the creativity of Alexander McQueen, Victor & Ralf, Jason Wu, and many many more.... OH YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that's just a little about me... : )

Dominique